One of the really, really frustrating things about being autistic is that you feel like you spend your life trying to reach some sort of unattainable middle-ground:
– We’re criticised for not making enough conversation, but when we do actually really get in to a conversation we are told we’re ‘too intense’.
– We’re often trained to maintain unbroken eye-contact during conversations, yet in reality too much eye-contact is called ‘staring’ and makes people very, very uncomfortable.
– We’re encouraged to ‘express’ ourselves more, yet our actual, genuine emotional reactions are usually deemed ‘innapropiate’ or ‘unnescessary’.
– We’re told to be friendly and confident when approaching new people, but are then warned that we ‘come off too strong’.
– We are told to try and make interesting conversation, but are also taught that speaking about our interests will only ever annoy other people.
– We’re asked to explain our difficulties and anxieties, only to be told that these explanations ‘make no sense’ or that our worries are unrealistic and invalid.
– We’re expected to force ourselves in to social situations that feel overwhelming and draining yet still somehow remain friendly, good-tempered and pleasantly sociable.
– We are encouraged to develop good self-esteem, while at the exact same time being taught that everything about us is wrong.
I don’t hate having autism – I’ve never hated having autism. But I do hate living with the never-ending pressure to attain this mythical ‘perfect’ level of social interaction that simply doesn’t exist in my case.
Link to original article: http://h0shikohime.tumblr.com/post/168252177257/one-of-the-really-really-frustrating-things-about
